Everyone always talks about the news drought this time of year. Especially journalists. As if that would justify making, say, SJP’s disappearing mole front page news. Oh, pur-leease! And if I see one more pap shot of a sunbathing celebrity I shall scream. Just because they can afford to go on holiday five times a year.

But the news story this week that was stretched out and contorted like one of those balloon animals must have been Christian Bale’s domestic at the Dorchester. If you haven’t heard (you must be living inside a box), the Dark Knight star allegedly had a big row with his sister when she asked him for money. His mother kindly butted in and Bale allegedly lost it and allegedly shoved her. The ladies then reported him to the police for assault, the day before the big movie premiere. So Batman had to go to the police station to get arrested and tell his version of the story. Then Bale got bailed just so that the tabloid headline writers wouldn’t have to think too hard about next day’s front page.

If the film wasn’t already breaking all box-office records, I’d almost feel inclined to think it was a PR stunt.

But do you know what the creepiest thing is? Bale’s mother works as a part-time clown. Uhu. Talk about life imitating art, or is it the other way around? Well, I for one have a clown phobia. Ever since I watched Stephen King’s It.

I have to confess, I haven’t dared watch The Dark Knight yet. I have however seen plenty of clips and photos of Heath Ledger in full make-up. And that’s putting me off a while longer.

Watch Steve Martin clowning around. by clicking here.