An expletive-packed phone call from The Thick Of It stars and a walk-on part in the next Richard Curtis film are among lots being offered in a Twitter auction for Comic Relief.
A private performance from comic Robert Webb and the chance to sit in while Ruby Wax is given a Botox top-up are also among the unusual enticements.
The Twitrelief auction – which begins today (Thursday) – will see more than a hundred prolific Tweeters and celebrities taking part.
They will sell off ‘follows’, which means the celebs will subscribe to the messages of the highest bidder. And many of them are throwing in extras.
Funnyman Chris Addison is offering an ‘abusive phone call’ with him and Thick Of It co-star Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi). And Emma Freud is offering a part in a film made by her husband Curtis.
Curtis himself will actually join Twitter solely to follow his highest bidder.
Others taking part include Simon Pegg, JLS, Jamie Oliver, Jonathan Ross and Sarah Brown, wife of former Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
Davina McCall will take her winner to the set of Channel 4’s The Million Pound Drop and Miranda Hart is offering a signed script of her BBC series Miranda.
From Thursday the celebrities taking part will tweet the details of a special eBay page. The auction ends on March 20 with money going towards the work of Comic Relief in the UK and Africa.