EastEnders star Danny Dyer joined Alan Carr on his Chatty Man show last night “the man who puts the nuts behind the bar at the Queen Vic”, was how Alan introduced him.

But Danny was also the man who painted a grim picture of what life will be like in Albert Square this Christmas…with a little encouragement from Alan.

“Christmas in Walford is such a downer,” Alan moaned.

“Innit? It’s a kick up the b****cks,” Danny agreed.

“What are the chances of Albert Square having a little bit of Christmas cheer going on?” Alan asked. “I mean, you’ve got more chance of finding snow in the Caribbean than someone cracking a smile in Albert Square.”

“It’s bad, to be honest,” Danny answered. “I can’t really declare it – but it f***ing horrible.”

“Mick [his character] gets away with Christmas Day but not New Year’s Day. That’s when he’s getting married. It goes wrong, badly.

“But…it gets better,” Danny added.

“It’s got a right good ending on New Year’s Day. That much I can give away. The ending’s unbelievable. For once, it’s a lovely doof-doof moment. And I think we’re due one.”

Then Alan moved on to another hot topic for Enders’ fans: the return of Grant Mitchell.

“Mick’s the Alpha male in Walford. What do you think about Ross Kemp coming back as Grant?” Alan asked Danny.

“I like the idea of it,” Danny said. “He might be coming back. I’d like Mick to have a tear-up in the Vic with Grant Mitchell. Mick would iron him right out!”

We’d love to see Mick try!

EastEnders continues on BBC1, Monday, November 23, 8.00pm.