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Of all the people you might have expected to thump Val, bet you didn’t expect Alicia to be first in line – but she is! Val’s in a particularly bitchy mood because Pollard’s taking Brenda to Cornwall for a holiday. So she’s drowning her sorrows in the back room of The Woolpack, where Alicia is trying to tell David that she likes him in that special way. Val butts in, letting the wine do her talking, and tells Alicia that David’s a waste of space and – pow! – Alicia pops her on her nosy nose. That hurts! And Val hits back by calling the police, who cuff Alicia in front of a triumphant Val.

Ashley’s anything but triumphant after his first day working in a burger bar. He is expected to dispense chips, not meaty words that are good for the soul and he feels defeated, especially when his request for an advance on his wages is laughed at. Laurel wants rent money from him – and she wants it now.

Chas wants something from Cameron. With nowhere else to go, Chas and Cameron are all over each other in The Woolpack toilets – and are very nearly caught by Debbie. They’re pushing their luck…