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Howard corners Emma and Al separately with their mission for the day… they must go to the freshers fair at the University and sign up incoming students. The future and funding of the Campus surgery is dependent on their success, and if they try to wriggle out of it the future of the second surgery could be in jeopardy. And he’s got costumes to help them out. Howard’s thrilled with the life-sized, furry, wearable representations of STIs but Emma and Al are not amused.

At the fair, Emma and Al struggle to get sign-ups, so Al hastily devises a pub crawl around Letherbridge with advice on how to handle hangovers, trying to appeal to the base instincts of students. Meanwhile, Emma is given her own flash of inspiration by an encounter with a ‘furvert’ – an amorous interloper in a rabbit costume. Of course, they should appeal to students’ base instincts; the only thing that matters to them is in their trousers! 

Emma grabs loads of condoms from the Campus surgery and begins giving them away left, right and centre. When Howard shows up at the end of the day, Emma and Al have admittedly had a lot of attention – but today was about getting signups, and they’ve both failed miserably! Howard can’t emphasise enough how serious he is and since they’ve both done nothing but complain, they can come back tomorrow to show him how it should be done!

When Heston notices Jas is struggling to deal with unwanted male attention after the stalking incident, he recommends a refresher course on how to deal with discourteous men, courtesy of Karen Hollins. Karen’s got a whole range of put-downs that she teaches Jas, and suddenly the world seems a less scary place!

Also, Daniel is forced to mediate between a warring couple who each want to be the one to stay at home and take care of the kids whilst the other works.