TAGS:

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan return for the climax of the glossy S&M saga based on EL James’ erotic romance trilogy.

However, any viewers hoping the series can go out with a bang will be sorely disappointed. Take away the sex and this woefully tedious effort wouldn’t pass muster as a TV movie thriller.

Still, there’s ample opportunity to wallow in escapist luxury, if that’s your thing, as Johnson’s shy but feisty heroine Anastasia and Dornan’s kinky business tycoon Christian begin their married life with jaunts by private jet to Paris, the Cote d’Azur and Aspen.

All is not well, however, and a vengeful figure from the couple’s pasts is soon dogging Ana’s every move.

Sadly for us, the ensuing intrigue is drearily predictable and tension-free, and the only fun to be had is laughing at the inane dialogue and ridiculous plotting.