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For weeks now, Wylde child Maisie has been puzzled – and a little insulted – by Nikhil’s refusal to sleep with her. It’s not as if she’s been slapped silly by the ugly stick, is it? Then she catches him at home with a woman, looking like he’s about to do with her what he wouldn’t do with Maisie! What’s going on? That’s what Maisie wants to know. Nikhil has some explaining to do – but will he tell Maisie the truth?

As Diane calls last orders at The Woolpack for the final time, she realises what she’s leaving behind – the smell of stale beer, staff that often fail to pull their weight – and a pint – a sister with a life that could keep Jerry Springer in shows for a decade. No wonder she can’t wait to get to the airport! And dying Charlie is such a generous bloke; he even gives Rodney his flashy motor. Diane thinks she’s the luckiest woman alive…

Shadrach, meanwhile, is lucky to be alive and it seems he finally realises this. He tells Marlon he wants to add drinking alcohol to the list of things he doesn’t do (shave, bathe, wash his hair…). Can he survive without a beer, though?

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