LA florist Ashton Kutcher wakes up next to Jessica Alba and proposes to her, but soon she rejects him in this tastily conceived panorama of love’s ups and downs on Valentine’s Day.

Kutcher has the main role and, on the big day, is selling loads of flowers – including two bouquets to Patrick Dempsey, a love rat cheating on his wife while pledging true love to Kutcher’s best friend, Jennifer Garner.

Meanwhile, sweet Topher Grace can’t understand why his feisty gal Anne Hathaway rushes away and is making lots of peculiar phone calls, Eric Dane’s a sportsman at a crossroads and, on a plane to LA, Bradley Cooper seems to be chatting up Julia Roberts, though it turns out they both have hidden agendas.

Then Shirley MacLaine suddenly tells her hubby Hector Elizondo she was once unfaithful to him, Jessica Biel starts getting all steamed up about sports reporter Jamie Foxx, Taylor Lautner lusts over Taylor Swift and Emma Roberts and Carter Jenkins want first love on 14 Feb.

There are plenty of laughs and some tears, but the script struggles to come up with truly funny, touching and romantic dialogue and director Garry Marshall has to juggle too many multi-layered strands.

Despite its faults, though, the film’s eager to please and the cast makes you care about what happens to the characters.

Also on ITV2 Wednesday 14 Feb at 6.25pm.