After implausibly falling in love with the lap-dancing daughter (Hollyoaks’ Holly Weston) of one of his victims, Cockney hitman Danny Dyer goes to war with his underworld bosses – a pair of sibling gangsters played by Martin and Gary Kemp, trading on fading memories of playing the Krays in the 1990 biopic. Dyer’s hard man whizzes to and from his assignments on a high-powered motorbike, but crashingly dull low-budget British crime thriller Assassin couldn’t be more pedestrian.

Certificate 15. Runtime 78 mins. Director JK Amalou

Assassin is showing on Sky Movies Premiere tonight at 12.15am.