Cat & Dogs

If you had to choose, which side would you take: cats or dogs?

Most people, it seems, do prefer one animal over the other.

In today’s film, the divide between doggy devotees and feline followers is taken to imaginative extremes. According to the movie, canines have been striving loyally to protect mankind from fiendish pussy plots for thousands of years. The drama begins when the moggies launch a plan to make humans allergic to the mutts…

Of course, this is all rubbish and a transparent conspiracy by pooch promoters to unnerve feline fans.

I’ve known a few divine doggies in my time, but cats will always win the war for me.

Cat & Dogs

Check out my reasons here:

1. Noise: DOGS bark endlessly at buses, bikes, trolleys, people in helmets,
ironing boards, vacuum cleaners etc, whereas CATS talk with gentle miaows and sing the occasional low volume song.

2. Mouth action: DOGS slobber whereas CATS deliver dainty kitty kisses.

3. Character types: DOGS are needy, whereas CATS are independent.

4. Poo: DOGS leave their mess for others to tread in, whereas CATS bury theirs and can even be trained to use the human toilet.

5. Odour: DOGS are smelly and unclean, whereas CATS wash themselves all of the time.

6. Injuries: DOGS can inflict nasty bites, whereas CATS may sometimes leave the occasional scratch.

7. Fur: DOGS have coarse fur, whereas CATS have lovely, soft, strokable coats.

8. Lipsticks: male DOGS get their lipsticks out all the time, whereas male CATS keep theirs contained within a furry pouch.

9. Fashion: DOGS are happy to be exploited as fashion accessories, whereas CATS have too much self-respect to sit in someone’s handbag.

10. Energy levels: DOGS wear you out with their demands for exercise, whereas CATS are simply couch potatoes with whiskers.

11. Social interaction: DOGS are over-friendly and forward, whereas CATS remain reserved when they’re introduced for the first time.

Cats & Dogs

Still not convinced, then watch this Engineer’s Guide to Cats

What talents, what fabulous furry faces, what pleasing pussy personalities, how can you not love ’em?

Please note, contrary to what is shown in the clip, lilies can kill cats. Dog disciples may try and throw you off balance by sending you bouquets of these fiendish flowers, but remember, puss should never be allowed near them.

 Cat & Dogs