Sci-fi adventure Jupiter Ascending, The Wachowskis’ first original movie vehicle since The Matrix, is a cosmic misfire: spectacular to look at but spectacularly silly, especially when stars Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum are taking stabs at the siblings’ piffling dialogue.
Kunis is the eponymous Jupiter, a Russian immigrant cleaner who learns she is the genetic heir to an intergalactic dynasty after pointy-eared space soldier Tatum whooshes in on his nifty space skates to rescue her from space assassins. She goes from scrubbing toilets in Chicago to being hailed queen of the universe but the movie goes right down the pan.
Eddie Redmayne almost rescues things as the story’s chief villain, Balem Abrasax, a literal master of the universe who drips with such cosmic disdain that he can’t be bothered to raise his voice above a galaxy-weary whisper. Tuppence Middleton and Douglas Booth are deliciously decadent, too, as his siblings, Kalique and Titus, who also have claims on Jupiter’s interstellar inheritance. But the Wachowskis’ brain-sapping plot smothers the film’s kitsch pleasures. It’s a future camp classic, though, without a doubt.
Certificate 12A. Runtime 127 mins. Directors The Wachowskis.
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