Ladies’ man, agony uncle, showbiz personality, author, businessman, style icon… Just who is the real Keith Lemon?

As the tache-tastic presenter returns with a bang tidy new series of his off-the-wall ITV2 panel show Celebrity Juice (ITV2, Thursday 1 September, 10pm), TV&Satellite Week magazine caught up with the enigmatic Mr Lemon to find out…

Have you made any changes for the new series of Celebrity Juice?
“Yes, in this series Holly will be drunk. Last time she was up the duff all the way through filming, but Holly drunk is a different proposition altogether. Otherwise, it’s just more celebrities saying and doing things you never thought you’d see them say or do.”

Is there a big drinking culture on the show?
“Everyone’s had a few drinks when they do Celebrity Juice. Not too many, mind, because you want to be able to talk, but certainly a few before, then a few pints under the desk and a few more afterwards. The guests who come on are all fuelled by drink.”

Who’s your favourite guest?
“I look up to Phillip Schofield. He’s the don of daytime TV and one of the most professional people I’ve ever worked with. Fearne is, too. If she had the looks to go with her professionalism, nothing would stand in her way.”

You have a very distinctive look. How would you describe it?
“A working man’s cross between hairdresser Nicky Clarke and actor Owen Wilson. You’d think being a Hollywood star he’d get his nose fixed.”

What makes you such a hit with the ladies?
“Honesty and a cheeky smile. For instance, I’ll say to Stacey Solomon: ‘You look like a rodent – but a very sexy rodent and, if you were in Wind of the Willows, those weasels would be all over you like a rash!’ It’s a slur, but it’s also a compliment.”

Can you give us any dating tips?
“I’ve put all my dating knowledge into a book called The Rules – 69 Ways to be Succ-sex-ful. It’s full of tips on how to pull. For instance, get a girl to touch the sleeve of your jacket and say: ‘Feel that – it’s boyfriend material’. Or if you’re doing internet dating – which I’ve never done, I hasten to add – use a picture of someone better-looking than you.”

You’ve released your own fitness video. How do you keep in shape?
“I do three hours of Swingball every day. It’s good for those bingo wings under your arms. But I did put my back out having sex the other day. I’m like a Jack Russell in the sack, very vigorous.”

Is it true you’re making a Keith Lemon film in America?
“There’s talk of it, but they all think I’m Scottish over there. When I’m in a meeting with Americans I can see confusion in their faces when I talk, but it doesn’t bother me.”

You started out as a businessman. Do you have any ideas for new products?
“I’ve got a great idea for Dragons’ Den. We all have these busy lifestyles in London, and sometimes you just don’t have time for a roast at the weekend. So what about Sunday dinner in a bap – with chicken, cabbage and Yorkshire pudding?”

Who is the love of your life?
“Me. You’ve got to love yourself before anyone else can love you, and if you can’t love yourself, how can you give love to others?”

What’s happening with your music career?
“I was planning on recording a song with Paloma Faith for Christmas called Jingle Balls, but we both got too busy. I had my fitness DVD out and she had to finish off her album.”

Any other new ventures in the pipeline?
“I’ve got a Keith Lemon calendar coming out. No one ever does the seasons any more in celebrity calendars, so we’ve done that. For March I’m a St Patrick’s Day leprechaun, for October I’m wearing a scary Halloween costume, and for December I’m Santa with a sexy elf. You’ve got to cash in while you’re riding the wave.”