News Muse – Attack of the Body Swappers: The Remake

News Muse has on a previous occasion moaned about the apalling lack of new ideas in the Hollywood film industry. And scouring the news stories this week only confirms this sad fact:

Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro are teaming up again to make a sequel to Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers. The movie, called something like Little Fockers, is being scripted by John Hamburg who wrote/directed Along Came Polly and will revolve around Gaylord and Pam’s offspring. Owen Wilson is rumoured to return in a bigger role.

My case against:

A. I can’t stand Ben Stiller.
B. I can’t stand Owen Wilson.
C. If I have to see Robert De Niro sporting fake latex breasts one more time, I shall sue the film company for the irreversible trauma caused to my retina.

Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller in Meet the ParentsWarner Bros is planning to remake the 1993 hit movie The Fugitive which starred Harrison Ford.

My case against:

A. They made the movie based on a TV series: The Fugitive.
B. They re-made the TV series: The Fugitive.
C. They made a sequel: US Marshals.

Harrison Ford in The Fugitive

Ashton Kutcher is to star in a body-swap comedy where he plays an American footballer who trades places with a 12-year-old geek.

My case against:

A. Big – nobody will ever beat Tom Hanks as the original body-swapper
B. Freaky Friday and the remake…Freaky Friday
C. Vice Versa, It’s a Boy Girl Thing, Like Father Like Son, 13 Going on 30

Enough is enough!

Ashton Kutcher

Martin Lawrence is to produce and possibly star in a new comedy called Back to America about a guy from Queens who travels to Africa when he realises that he is a royal heir

My case against:

A. Er, Coming to America
B. Martin Lawrence is already working on insulting our intelligence (again!) with Wild Hogs: The Sequel – to be unleashed upon the world later this year.
C. Martin Lawrence needs to be superglued inside a fatsuit and rolled down a mountain.

Martin Lawrence

Just writing about this has wound me up. Let’s release some tension and talk Academy Awards!

Oscar Night is nigh and if you still haven’t seen all the nominated movies in the Best Film category, Popbitch has put together a real time saver for you by re-making each movie into an informative one-minute clip, adding their own little twist to it – of course. Check it out!

There are lots of rumours about this year’s ceremony. But the one that has me the most excited is that Baz Luhrmann has staged a musical number that will be performed by host Hugh Jackman [swoon], High School Musical’s Zac Efron and BeyoncĂ©. Fingers tightly crossed that we get to see this on Sunday!

I’m off to meet my stylist now to make the final adjustments to my red carpet outfit – it’s a to-die-for snugalicious two-piece fleece pyjama. You should be jealous.

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