Bah! It’s that time of the year when I am dragging my tired winter feet over spring’s threshold and humming June is bustin’ out all over just to keep me going. And I start dreaming of festivals. No, not the music variety. It’s not really my thing. I fantasise about attending fabulous film festivals all around the globe – while getting paid for it.

The Cannes Film Festival line-up was announced yesterday just to add salt to my wounds. Among the highlights are the world premiere of Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (completed despite the death of star Heath Ledger), and a first look at footage from Robert Zemeckis’s A Christmas Carol. The festival will open with Pixar’s Up!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I789Pr5wLUc&fs=1

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to do that to my house when the commute gets to me. But what choice does one have when central London is so overpriced?

Woody Allen on the other hand thinks London is cheap – compared with New York that is. His latest movie, Whatever Works, opened the Tribeca Film Festival

Mission Hollywood, which starts in June and will see 12 actresses fighting it out for a role in a Twilight sequel. One of the guest judges is Carmen Electra… Hm, I have a feeling this show isn’t so much about the ability to act as it is about the act of flaunting. Well, at least they’ll learn how it’s really done in Hollywood.

Hoik ’em up, ladies and pout!

Here’s one lady who wears quality support and knows how to flaunt it. She also plays the piano. More importantly though, sultry Oksana Grigorieva is said to be the reason for Mel Gibson‘s wife Robyn filing for divorce after 28 years and seven children. Personally, I think her decision might also have a little something to do with Mel’s alcoholism, his drinking and driving, his homophobia, his promiscuity and his anti-Semitism… She clearly deserves half of whatever the man’s got!