Lordi! Lordi! Lordi! Now here’s a first. A Finnish film filled with a bunch of former Holby City and The Bill actors, who become trapped in a Twilight Zone-styled story featuring cameos by the Eurovision-winning rock band, Lordi.
Sarah (Mina in Sky1’s Skellig) is an autistic child whose father Ben (former Holby City actor Noah Huntley) wants to take her home after a brain scan goes wrong. While a nurse tries to convince him to let the girl remain in hospital, Ben and Sarah enter an elevator with three other people. When the elevator suddenly stops, the door opens and the group are faced with a deserted hospital. What follows is a nightmarish journey as bodies pile up and monsters chase our heroes through the hospital corridors.
While the film is high on atmosphere, Dark Floors fails to deliver anything but a kiddie ghost ride. All of the characters are forgettable – except veteran actor Ronald Pickup, who plays weird street bum Tobias, spurting prophetic words of doom – and there’s no logic why the creatures are haunting the hospital. Even the ending is utterly confusing.
Dark Floors is a missed opportunity for the rock band’s big-screen debut. If the film-makers had created a tongue-in-cheek Power Rangers-styled comedy, in Finnish, with Lordi singing, then maybe it would have worked much better.
Released 20 April