In true Hollywood style we return, bigger and better, with the second part of our sequels countdown…
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II
Why we first fell in love: A boy wizard makes boarding school look fun.
This time out: Harry and chums finally go head-to-head with Voldemort.
What we expect to see: They beat Voldemort, perhaps by locating his missing nose and tweaking it till he screams. Kids can be so cruel.
The future of the franchise: JK Rowling has put down her pen and broken the spell. Boarding school goes back to being boring and the only mystery is the rules of lacrosse.
In cinemas: 15 July
Why we first fell in love: Cars that talk and look super-cool. It’s like Knight Rider, but less camp.
This time out: The cars go on a globe-trotting spy mission with an Aston Martin who sounds suspciously like Michael Caine.
What we expect to see: Ejector seats and a bit where the Aston Martin glides seamlessly from land to water. Hold the Martini though – that’s an instant six points on your licence.
The future of the franchise: Fast & Furious gets the Pixar makeover it’s been begging for. But for the sake of the environment, Vin Diesel will run on unleaded.
In cinemas: 22 July
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World
Why we first fell in love: A couple of kids save the world, which is just as well in this day and age as it means they’re not hanging around on street corners, drinking lager and intimidating old ladies.
This time out: The Cortez kids are back to, like, save the world and stuff. This time they’re aided by Jessica Alba as a young mother returning to work as a spy. Which is just as well, to stop her claiming child benefits.
What we expect to see: Jessica Alba is on the milk run in a velour tracksuit when a crazed super villain steps into her path. She runs him down with her ridiculously oversized pram having barely even noticed him.
The future of the francise: The Cortez kids pose as Oompa-Loompas and infiltrate a chocolate factory where they aim to uncover the secret recipe for an everlasting gobstopper. Either that, or they finally grow up and get real jobs.
In cinemas: 19 August
Final Destination 5
Why we first fell in love: After surviving a grand-scale disaster, death stalks a bunch of smarmy teenagers who are dispatched in a variety of cruel and unusual ways.
This time out: After surviving a grand-scale disaster, more smarmy teenagers get dispatched in a variety of cruel and unusual ways. In 3D.
What we expect to see: After surviving a grand-scale disaster, even more teenagers will probably get dispatched in a variety of cruel and unusual ways.
The future of the francise: Do we have to spell it out? Despite the false promise of the title, the madness never ends…
In cinemas: 26 August
Johnny English: Reborn
Why we first fell in love: Mr Bean meets James Bond. Rowan Atkinson is the globetrotting agent with a license to kill, though he’s more likely to shoot himself in the foot. (And react to the pain by merely flaring his nostrils.)
This time out: Johnny is on a mission to save the Chinese premier from an assassination attempt. Apparently, this is a good thing. We expect humanitarians around the world (and most others) to be appalled.
What we expect to see: Johnny should have a chance to don a ninja suit and show us his karate moves, though he risks looking like a conger eel in convulsions. The stakes are upped since conger eel is a delicacy in China…
The future of the franchise: Johnny English V. Ace Ventura: the two rubbery law enforcers try to out-manoeuvre each other in an allied mission. There will be much bending, flexing and stupid-faced mugging.
In cinemas: 7 October