Shooting from the lip: X Factor quotes

What have those poor X Factor contestants let themselves in for? Not only are they baring their voices on national television, they also have to face the show’s infamously sharp-tongued judges. The panel’s put-downs have reduced many contestants to tears and tantrums. In one audition, a girl even tried to throw a drink at Louis Walsh after he rubbished her singing – only for him to get there first and throw one at her!

For we viewers, these catty comments are all part of the fun. Here is a selection of our favourite quotes from the panel that we love to hate..

Simon Cowell

“You look like that character from Little Britain… Vicky Pollard. You look like a man dressed as a woman.”

“You have zero chance of ever, ever, ever having success.”

“You look a bit barmy when you sing. I think you’d scare our audience away.”

“Your confidence is slightly… deluded.”

“You are fabulously awful.”

“I’ve never heard anything more boring in my life. I could sell you as a sleeping aid.”

“That sounded like you were screaming at a neighbour!”

“You doing that ballad is like casting Ricky Gervais as Rambo.”

“I’ve got be honest, your outfit is horrendous.”

“In every possible way, you got it wrong.”

Sharon Osbourne

“There’s a problem with your voice. You can’t sing.”

“You’ve got no star quality about you. No charisma.”

“Go on, say it with me… you’re absolutely useless!”

Simon: “Sharon, is he in?”

Sharon: “No. (To contestant) And you’re barking.”

“I’m going to say no. But could we have one more monkey noise before you go?”

“Oh! He can’t sing a note!”

“You guys just brought a new meaning to the word ‘singing’.”

“Bizarre… very bizarre.”

Louis Walsh

“You look like the odd couple.”

“You’re like something on in Blackpool. At a variety show. At the bottom of the bill.”

“Absolutely 100 per cent rubbish.”

“That was car-crash territory.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Dannii Minogue


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