We catch up with Stuart ‘The Brand’ Baggs, who made the interview stages of last year’s The Apprentice… This year’s final screens on BBC One on Sunday night.

Disclaimer: Over the course of this interview Stuart seemed to have left his serious side at home in a skip…

How has life been treating you since last year’s appearance on The Apprentice?
“It’s not too good. I’m now homeless and living in a skip. It could be worse – I could be working for What’s on TV magazine! Life’s good, actually, I’ve been on several TV shows since, I’ve got my own bits and bobs coming up in TV and I’ve got my communication business.”

So it’s all happening?
“I don’t want to pretend like I’m some sort of multi-billionaire, but I’m pretty good looking and successful. But more to the point we’re in a [recession], people have lost their jobs so it’s nice to be in the money and still drive a nice car.”

Have you been watching the show this year?
“I’m contractually obliged to watch it because I’m writing about it. But I’d probably choose not to. I’d probably choose to watch paint dry…”

What do you think of the £250,000 investment prize this year?
“The prize is better. Let’s be honest, working with Lord Sugar should be a prison sentence, shouldn’t it? Instead of sentencing young offenders to prison they should sentence them to work with Lord Sugar, because that would be a living hell!”

Have you seen Lord Sugar since getting fired?
“No, but he wrote a nice article about me two months ago in Heat magazine saying I’d been seduced by second rate television, which is entirely true. But he said that at a time when he wasn’t on television and I was, so I’m looking down from my pedestal at him!”

What can you tell me about the reality of the interview process – what do we viewers not see?
“On TV the interviews are on for about half an hour with another half hour in the boardroom. But in reality it’s a full day starting at 6am, with filming finishing at 10pm. You’re being constantly questioned and the moment that you do react awkwardly is the moment they’ll include in the show!”

Having been in the interview process, what tips would you give this year’s finalists?
“The biggest tip I’d give anyone on The Apprentice is ‘don’t win because you’ll have to work with him!'”

What do you think have been the highlights of this year’s show?
“The highlights for me so far are, without a doubt… [silence] I don’t know – it’s a bit like trying to pick out patches of paint that are slightly less dull than others!”

One of last year’s highlights was when Viglen chairman Claude Littner said to you ‘You’re not even a fish’…
“I’m glad that Claude noticed I wasn’t a fish. Some people have real problems telling people and fish apart. My lack of fins and tail give it away, so full credit to him. That’s obviously why he’s such a success in business – he can tell instantly whether or not a man is a fish or not!”

“I feel like I’m not giving you enough quotes here. Like you’re going to struggle with the print content…”

Yes, well… You’re clearly enjoying yourself. But do you have any regrets about appearing on The Apprentice?
“No regrets whatsoever. Because if I hadn’t have done it I wouldn’t be chatting to you now. Your lovely readers wouldn’t know who I was and I wouldn’t be able to do all kinds of fun stuff. Genuinely, when you look at some people’s situation… I thought I had it bad when I got fired, but I’ve got food on my table and I’ve got my good looks. Some people really have nothing. That’s the only bit of humility you’re getting out of me. Don’t print it because I don’t want people to think I’m nice!”