The Big Bang - Antonio Banderas

Raymond Chandler meets Stephen Hawking in flashy film noir thriller The Big Bang, a bizarre mash-up of private-eye sleuthing and subatomic physics in which smart-talking gumshoe Antonio Banderas’s hunt for a missing woman (Sienna Guillory) gets entangled with a scientist’s search for the God particle.

Despite lashings of neon-drenched style and some striking characters, including a lovelorn giant boxer with ‘a right hook like a freight train’ (Robert Maillet) and a reclusive billionaire obsessed with recreating the Big Bang beneath the New Mexico desert (Sam Elliott), the overly talky, flashback-laden movie doesn’t really come off but there’s fun to be had along the way.

Look out for offbeat cameos from rapper Snoop Dogg as a porn mogul and Dawson’s Creek’s James Van Der Beek as a sleazy Hollywood star whose albino midget sidekick is clearly only in the story to provide the shaggy-dog punchline, ‘White Dwarf goes supernova’.

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Showing on Sky Movies Premiere at 1.45am tonight