Wallace: ‘I fancy being a celebrity chef’

Cheese-loving Wallace talks about his new show, Wallace & Gromit’s World of Invention, and has plenty to say about dental work and Ann Widdecombe…

We’re delighted you’ve got your own TV show, Wallace. What’s it about?

“Gromit and I are showcasing some cracking inventions and gadgets from all around the world. It’s the show that takes the sigh out of science.”

Have you invented any gadgets for the series?

“Have I invented any gadgets? I’ve only built me own blooming TV studio in the basement! And look out for LAD – my Labour Assisting Device. It’s programmed to do any household chore, though it still needs a few bugs ironing out, eh Gromit?”

Were you surprised when the BBC offered you the job?

“Given that our bakery business Top Bun had just gone up in smoke, it seemed like perfect timing, didn’t it lad? And have you seen the size of those BBC salaries? Beats currant buns any day of the week.”

So, will the show make you rich?

“I’m afraid my contract doesn’t permit me to reveal my exorbitant fee. But rest assured that Gromit will be getting an extra bone or two in his stocking this Christmas.”

What do you do if your inventing inspiration runs dry?

“A cup of tea, a slice of Wensleydale and my grey matter’s back in overdrive. Works every time.”

Jem Stansfield is your roving reporter on the show. Did you like working with him?

“I did, though Gromit wasn’t so enamoured when Jem got his foot stuck in his water bowl.”

Did the TV producers want to give you a makeover before filming? Maybe dental work or a hairpiece?

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. What would I need those for? My teeth, I’m proud to say, are all me own. Unlike some other TV presenters I could mention.”

Now you are on TV, are you worried that Wendolene will do a kiss-and-tell story?

“Wendolene Ramsbottom is a model of discretion, I’m pleased to say. Not so sure about that Piella Bakewell, though. But any secrets she may have had went to the crocodile pit with her.”

Would you like your own chat show next?

“I’ve never really seen myself as a Michael Parkinson type – he’s from Yorkshire for a start. But I rather fancy trying my hand at being a celebrity chef. I’ve got a whole range of cheese-based recipes I’d like to share with the public.”

Would you consider appearing on Strictly Come Dancing?

“Only if I got partnered with that Ann Widdecombe. She could tickle me tango any time!”

Wallace & Gromit’s World of Invention can be seen on Wednesday 3rd November at 7.30pm on BBC1

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